Robyn Eckhardt writes: I'm jumping on Tomato's bandwagon. Herewith, my most useless kitchen tool: turkey turners. In 1998, when we moved from Shanghai backback to San Francisco (a stateside interlude that ended with our relocation to Bangkok a little over three years later) I went a bit kitchen acquisition crazy. I'd bought virtually nothing for the kitchen since we left the States in 1994 and reacted by going overboard. These turkey turners are the most useless of my useless tool acquisitions during that heady period. They're useless not only because turkey is never on the menu here at Chez Eckhardt-Hagerman in Kuala Lumpur, but also because piercing a turkey's skin is exactly what you don't want to do ...